Everyone whos it changes you, it has to. It's a big part of life and a big responsibility to have a defenseless little bundle needing you for everything. It matures us, that's a given. The sleeepness nights will try your patience and your endurance in ways you have never imagined before, your life ceases to be your own as these little invaders take over but guess what? You don't care because there is nothing in this entire wortld which you love more than this little pooping and eating machine with an excellent alarm system. Nothing.
So imagine having two. Ok I know twins are quite common, as as more than two babies at a time and, of course I am suffering from new fatherhood side effects, telling everyone about them, showing photos to all and sundry, boring the crap out young people whom babies terrify....all that usual stuff...I know, my babies are the best in the world and do stuff no other babies do, just so you know! ;) I digress, I was saying, before I rudely interrupted myself, that it's different with two.
You see it's normal to pour every ounch of love one has into a baby, that's what you do. Watch their every little move, chuckle at their farts and little upchucks, watch them transform from helpless little balls with limbs into recognisably people. As they become more mobile, develop their own personalities, have a crack at talking, start laughing; you love every single second. That's what being a parent involves a lot of, it's normal.
Having two though, I have noticed, it's tougher. Obviously the walking around at 3am with two screaming little ladies, one on each shoulder is tough! One wakes up and politely asks me to change her nappy or provide her some food, the other decides she would also like to quietly place an order. Or that she ordered first in fact. or that the food actually belongs to her so what is that little upstart doing drinking her food?? You see how it goes. It's normal I guess, at 4 months old, for babies to be a touch selfish. They need to grow and get bigger. In order to do this they must eat. But, I have seen too, they, like us all need love. I have watched one of my daughters get jealous of the other, I see it often.
Daddy comes home from work, they have not seen him all day; daddy works stupid hours and gets home worn out and ready to unwind but beautiful babies missed daddy and want to say hello. Of course one smile from either of them and I am enchanted; the challenges of my day no longer matter. One giggle or smile is all it takes! Here is the rub though, they do get jealous as I was saying. If one is eating with her mum for example, her sister wants some too. If i am playing with them and show one what is considered too much attention; her sister's expression will reflect her displeasure. I am playing with one while the other has been set in the cradle; she will shrieck out at the top of her lungs as if saying "Daddy!! I'm here too!!" It's quite the balancing act. They fight too, nothing major more pushing the other out of the way with their feet or pulling hair but still; this is what i signed up for I guess lol As I said though, it's a balancing act; showing attention to both, love to both and accepting giggles and smiles from both. As well as ensuring I listen properly and engage in her conversation when she wants a chat (I think I understand them but maybe that's just my extremely overactive imagination again). Either way, perhaps with them both being girls, Daddy's love and attention are in very high demand and, so they are happy and do not think I love their sister more, the juggling act goes on. I don't mind though, why would I?
Being a parent though, as i said, matures you, in ways you'd never imagine. Sleep depreivation has been proven to even alter your DNA in some ways and it alters your behaviour beyond any shadow of a doubt. It's 3am, 4am even 5am, you have work tomorrow, you haven't slept well in 3 or 4 days, you forget and they are crying again and you don't know why!!! Anger and frustration, irritation are harder to suppress and control when one is overtired. One will act more impulsively and emotionally; that is why denial of sleep and change to sleep patterns is used to provide people with a better and more enhanced interrogation experience. Here is the thing though, we are at our wit's end, the end of our thread, close to falling over from tiredness but we carry on. We keep going. We don't scream and shout at our babies, we don't cry at them or refuse to answer their demands. We take ourselves truly out of ourselves and really start doing what humans need to do a lot more of; think of others and put the needs of them before our own. Our needs come last, we sacrifice and given everything we've got and, it turns out, more than we knew we had and an odd thing happens. We go beyond our endurance and suddenly we have more......
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